like mother like daughter

Oh how she makes me smile!!

eight years

Love has grown and been lost and re-grown.  Children have been conceived and loved and cried over.  Our selves have been lost, then searched for and then found and recreated.  Love has turned to hate and then back to intense love again.  Faith has been broken, tears have been thrown, but we will love until we die.  Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.   You watch me suffer and try to make it better.  I don’t mean to be bitter and treat you unkind. We never believed when people told us marriage and life was ‘hard’ – we knew that we were so different from the rest.  Now we know what those people know.  ”Life is pain princess” as the famous Princess Bride quote goes.  One day we will ride those wild horses and they will take us far away from the pain to a place where we can live as children – a simple and lighter place, without the cares of the world hanging like a heavy rain cloud always above; with no serious things to ever think about; with no illness;  with no sorrow;  where we can run and laugh and play in the sunshine.  This weekend has felt like that wonderful place.  Thank you husband of mine and thank you for being the most wonderful father and provider for eight years.  Thank you for being so kind when my words are not so kind.  Thank you for refusing to stop loving me, even during the times when there seems to be so very little to love.  Thank you for your patience and willingness to be better and better.  Thank you.

A Moving Australian Story: The Laffan Legacy

http://www.abc.net.au/austory/specials/laffan/default.htm

My mother just emailed me the link to a very moving Australian Story – a story that had profoundly touched her recently.  After viewing it just now with my husband, I know exactly why she was so moved.  We were also.  Tears stung my eyes from the beginning of his story and stayed there throughout the program.  There is so much of Matt Laffan’s story that we can relate to in our lives with our own two children.  I could also relate to his parents and their heartbreaking desire to have more children, but not being able to because of the genes they both share.  

I want to share this beautiful man with you because I feel that it is important to allow our hearts to be touched and open to inspiring people and their journeys.  They help us to be better, kinder people.  Stories like Matt’s encourage us to appreciate each day more fully and to realize that sometimes the problems that seem so large and overwhelming in our lives, really aren’t.

Jasmine

xox

“bye-bye bus”

Nick and I heard the grumbling of the big yellow bus grinding to a halt outside of our small rental.  We instantly dropped what we were doing and sprinted outside, cameras in hand, to capture the glorious moment of our big-little girl coming home on the school bus for the very first time.

“Bye bye bus” Phoenix waved as the bus pulled away from our curb.

Phew, what a big morning!  

xox

sniff sniff…. first day of preschool…

How can she be this old already? *tears sting my eyes*  I was not expecting to release my daughter into the world of preschool for another year of more – oh how my stomach churns!  This special preschool will be like 2 1/2 hours of early intervention four times each week – absolutely fabulous really…  It has just come up so unexpectedly for me though!  I havn’t had time to prepare myself to put Phoenix and her special needs (Rigid Spine Muscular Dystrophy) into the hands of strangers… even though I have a feeling these strangers will soon become fast-friends… like the bus lovely lady – can you believe little 3 year old Phoenix is going to catch the school bus to and from school!  *stomach churning*  And Phoenix’s teacher whose last name is also Barfuss and who is absolutely wonderful I do confess…  (Yes she a relative – her grandfather-in-law is brothers with Nicks grandfather… it is a small world in this small town)  And her occupational therapist who just couldn’t believe how cute she looked on her first day with flower embroidered jeans, an excited smile and a big-girl sparkle in her eyes!

“Bye mummy” she said as she walked in her walker into the classroom.  She gave me a sparkly Belle-lipgloss kiss more for me than for her and went off on her new adventure without so much as a glance backwards.

Tears did not well up in her eyes…

*sigh*

She is going to love it….

I get so clucky for another beautiful child in our lives, but my heart breaks at the knowledge that each child we have will most likely have Rigid Spine Muscular Dystrophy.  I never knew a heart could break as many times as mine has and still continue to beat.  My heart breaks a little on most regular days and a lot on days like last week at the spinal surgeon office at Shriners Hospital.  My beautiful, loving children have to work so hard in their little bodies and I feel overwhelming compassion, respect and love for them.  It is so hard for them and us in many ways though, physically and emotionally.  Do we dare bring another beautiful child into the world with RSMD?  With all the love and wonder a new child brings, can my heart handle the inevitable breakage that occurs when a mother sees her child struggle to live?

This is a sad portion of my life and a rather large portion of my life.  Who would have guessed, as a young and vibrant single-person that life would have thrown the twists and turns that is has and continues to do…  I had absolutely no clue.  I just thought about boys and that was about it.  Death didn’t bother me back then.  I was about as carefree as one can get…  I never imagined that I would be a mother, let alone a mother of two beautiful children with Muscular Dystrophy.  I never dreamed about a wedding day or holding a baby in my arms – babies freaked me out!  They all hated me!!  They all squirmed out of my arms and screamed at the sight of me!!  I was officially the worst baby sitter ever as a teen!  And then suddenly, at 23, I was growing one of my own inside of me…

Life… Oh life…

three today

My beautiful, sweet daughter is three today.  I can’t find the words to express how deeply I love my little Fi-fi.  I don’t think there are words that would adequately describe.  She has changed my life.  She is my little best friend.  No matter how tired and sad I get at times, I would never wish her back.  What an angel.

xox

thank you variety club of western australia!!

Thank you so much for this awesome adapted stroller!  We love it!  It was completed right after we left Australia and found it’s way here to us care of my brother Nathan on a recent business trip.  Thank you Nathan and thank you Variety!!

Variety all started in Pittsburgh, USA, in 1927 when a group of 11 young men working in a theatre, formed a social club called Variety. On Christmas Eve 1928 at a party in the Sheridan Theatre, Pittsburgh, an infant girl was found. Attached to the blanket in which the little girl was wrapped was a note… “Please take care of my baby. Her name is Catherine. I can no longer take care of her”… signed ‘a broken hearted mother.’Proving the heart of show business was a big one, the members decided to foster the baby. She was officially named Catherine Variety Sheridan, and soon bags of clothing and toys from across the country were being donated – far more than one child could ever use. And so, Variety ‘Tents’ were set up – now spread throughout some 14 different countries – to assist even more children in need.

Variety Australia, Tent 56, began in 1974 with Paul Hogan as Chief Barker (Chairman).

Variety WA began in 1980 and since then, has consistently been recognised as a leader in innovative fundraising events and programs, as one of the top ten Variety Tents in the world.

We love you Variety!!

To make a donation please visit http://www.varietywa.org.au/

Jasmine

xox

PS And thank you to mum who just made a donation!!

PPS Notice how green our grass is getting?  Soon there will be leaves on the trees!  Yippee!!

we love our new outdoor furniture and we love spring!

easter = happiness

happiness and joy

xox

who am i?

Who am I?

I am Jasmine 

I am a mother

I am a wife

I am an artist

I create

I love

I search

I wish

I want

I am tired

I am grateful

I write this blog

little droplets of love left around the house…

Look at these lovely little droplets of love I have been finding all around the house!  Arn’t I a lucky little housewife to have such a loving and thoughtful husband!  I have been finding them in the most thoughtful places too – like, under my camera, hiding in my beads, under my paint brushes, behind my Arbonne skincare – so when I have gone to do all the things I love, I have found a lovely note as well!  So thoughtful.  I laughed out loud when I found one in my underwear drawer though – it had been there for a few days which means I definitely need to shower more often!! haha!

Nick and I will be married for eight years this Monday.  That is a lot of our lives together.  I am so grateful for his kindness to all and brilliance with the children.  He has this amazing willingness to love.  I am pretty darn lucky, I must confess.

The sun is shining, green grass is sprouting, daffodils are blooming – it is going to be a great day :)

Jasmine xox

girls and their guns

Her cuteness warms my heart…  ”Barbie shoes!  Mummy, Barbie shoes! On! On! On!” she calls as she sees me exit the bedroom in my ‘Barbie Dress’ (some long top – basically, whenever I am not in my pajamas, I am wearing ‘Barbie Dress!  Barbie Dress!’.  I think what she means is ‘Mummy is actually wearing clothing!’) and ‘Barbie Shoes’ (ok, they are a little more Barbies style, especially the colour).  

There is something so adorably heart-warming about seeing her determination to get those heals on her feet while sitting in a walker rolling around with a mind of it own - and, never letting go of her brothers toy gun even though it would help her to balance more effectively by having that hand to use.  ”Die! Die!” she says once her Barbie Shoes are on.  ”Die mummy!”  She says with the cutest smile on her face.  ”Die I-is!”  Then she tries to chase her brother.  The shoes stay on for about three seconds or less.  Then she starts over again…

Normally, “Die mummy!” may not be something that brings most regular mums to tears, but for me, it’s a total tear jerker.  Firstly because she says it with such beautiful articulation.  Her speech is catching up in leaps and bounds in the last few weeks and I cry when she says everything.  I am just so amazed by her self-determination to speak and communicate.  Then secondly, I think when did she learn how to say “Die, Die!” and chase her brother with a gun!  I am not a lover of guns and actually tried to keep my son away from toy guns when he was smaller – to no avail.  Boy + Guns = Genetic Makeup.  But it touches me to see her able to move through the use of a walker which then in turn enables her to chase and play with her brother.  

It-is-so-stinking-cute.  I love how they can play and communicate with each other now.  It warms my heart to see.

Jasmine

xox

the secret of life…

Life therapy for the evening :)  There is something cathartic about finger-painting.  Feels good.  These words make me feel good too.  They are the secret – the 10 secrets to having a happy life…

1. Spread Beauty

2. Do What You Love

3. Love What You Do

4. Keep It Simple

5. Laugh Out Loud

6. Go With The Flow

7. Be Real

8. Focus On The Positive

9. Do Your Best

10. Just Breathe…. *inhale and….. release*

I found this little list on someones blog months ago…. and have had it on my desktop ever since.  I can’t remember whose blog it was, but the words instantly touched me – to the core.  They are powerful because they are true.  If applied to a life, they are life-changing.  I am deeply grateful to have stumbled across them.

Jaz

xxx

PS This secret is the kind that you want to spread around ;)  So go on, tell everyone…

thank you shriners charity hospital for children…

Thank you Shriners Hospital For Children – you are a life-saver to our family.  With your help, our children have equipment to help them be independent and will have their spinal surgeries without having the burden of an unpayable bill.  We are SO thankful for you Shriners.  You add a peace to our lives that we are eternally grateful for… How can we ever say thank you enough…

Shriners Hospitals for Children is a one-of-a-kind international health care system of 22 hospitals dedicated to improving the lives of children by providing specialty pediatric care, innovative research and outstanding teaching programs. 

Children up to the age of 18 with orthopaedic conditions, burns, spinal cord injuries and cleft lip and palate are eligible for admission and receive all care in a family-centered environment at no charge – regardless of financial need.  What angels!

Thank you.  We love you.

Jasmine

xxx

Donate to Shriners here.  Help us to help our beautiful children living in this broken U.S. healthcare system.