they are the light of my life

I love my children.  I never knew real love until the moment I saw Isis’ squishy face for the first time, seven and a half years ago.  That may not be true for everyone, but it was the case for me – a Mother’s Love.  I was so young – only twenty-three – and yet, I thought I was so old and mature (bordering on wise).  Wise?  No way.  Not even close.  I desired the wisdom that comes with age, but didn’t truly have any.  Nothing in my life up until that point remotely compared to the monumental, forever changing event of having a child.  Add on top of that a child with a mysterious illness and I matured fast.  Grey hairs are my friend now and a daily reminder of all the worry no mother should ever have to feel.  And yet, no matter what challenges come our way, I am so infinitely, unbelievably, ridiculously lucky to have them.  They are the loves and light of my life.  Would I still be that young, silly, rather idiotic and naive girl if I chose the other path instead of marriage and motherhood?  I shudder at the thought… Even though  marriage and motherhood has been such a weight to bear at times and I find myself often longing for the freedom that comes with being single and… care-free, if you will.  To be selfish and have it be ok.  This feeling quickly passes as soon as I get a special smile or warm cuddle from one of my children…  It is an amazing power that they have really.